


June 19th

by shannsleeve



Series: Fantastic Reasons and Where to Find Them - Drabbles [1]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Fantastic Reasons and Where to Find Them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 07:12:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11270592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shannsleeve/pseuds/shannsleeve
Summary: On this day, she howls the loudest.





	June 19th

**Author's Note:**

> This was written after a particularly tough day. This is set after the events of 'Fantastic Reasons.'

Feather awoke to a grey sky and little light streaming through the curtains. Reginald hadn’t returned from his nightly hunt to wake her, which meant she was up earlier than she should have been. She glanced at the clock hanging above her boudoir – 5:30. How strange.

Then she remembered the date.

“Fuck,” she whispered and the world came crashing down in a cacophony of sound and light and pain. She could hear it, feel it, sense it, over and over and over again  – _just ignore it just ignore it just ignore it just ignore it_.

The phrase beat into her skull with every drop of rain against the window pane.

 _Just ignore it just ignore it just ignore it_.

It flowed with Tina’s soothing cadence and bit into her with the witch’s disappointment just as if she was chiding Feather for the umpteenth time.

 _Just ignore it just ignore it just ignore it_.

Then there was Queenie’s lilting voice, gently reminding her that if she allowed the thoughts to bounce around any longer, they would both suffer the consequences.

_Just ignore it just ignore it just ignore it._

It was the tapping of Newt’s worn leather boots against the wooden floors of the case as he struggled with another chapter of his book. It was Jacob’s fingers drumming idly on the glass bakery counter during a slow day. It was her sister heaving sigh after sigh in irritation as another application went weeks without a response. It was her father writing furiously in his account book, looking for another way to save every little penny. It was her mother, salt and pepper hair flying in all directions, wailing at her about ‘why this chair was out of place’ or ‘how in the world could she wear that blouse with those shoes.’

 _Just ignore it just ignore it just ignore it_.

And there he was. The same demon that haunted her dreams. His image floated in front of her, his arms open in invitation. The phrase fell from his lips, a mantra that grew softer and softer as he came towards her.

 _Just ignore it_ – my love – _just ignore it_ – dearest heart – _just ignore it_ – forgive me for my ignorance – _just ignore it_ – let me show you how I’ve grown.

“I hate you. Please,” she begged. “Go away. Leave me alone. Get out.”

But the image did not fade. It became more corporal until it reached her, hand resting firmly against her cheek. Her eyes shut of their own accord, allowing the specter to trace the outline of her cheek. Its fingers were, as always, too large. As it held her face in its palms, she knew her visage was swallowed by its coldness. Its hands dwarfed her cheeks, but they were so loving in their caress. Like a starved woman hungering for food, she pressed her skin insistently against his. A part of her nearly recoiled in disgust but she forcefully ignored it.

This is what she wanted. This is what she’d missed, what she’d ached for every moment of every day for four long years.

Again, the part of her that knew better bellowed for her to see reason. It tried desperately to show her the night she hovered above the Thames, wishing for death. The hours she spent staring blankly out of her living room window, barely noticing when the sun rose and fell. The months she was unable to sleep in her own bed for fear of seeing his eyes in her dreams.

 _Just ignore it_ – it’s a lie! – _just ignore it_ – he left you! – _just ignore it_ – you have come so far! – _just ignore it_ – don’t do this!

This was the day she was brought screaming like a hellion into this world. A small, soft little thing who forced her way out one month before her time. She emerged to raise hell, they’d say as love and adoration dripped from their lips. This was a day of victory, of celebration, of glory to sing about for ages to come. She had made it to the 24th mark of her existence when, just a year ago on the same day, she held a handful of Deadly Nightshade in her palm.

She should have been proud to see the sun this day; instead, she only wanted to hide from its rays and bury herself in arms that had left her long bereft of their warmth.

_Tap-tap._

Reginald wormed his way through the slightly open bedroom window, a colorful parcel clutched firmly in his talons. Just as he was about to alight on Feather’s bed, he heard what sounded like a dying creature from the next room. He glided through the door to the living room where his mum was huddled at the center of the room, a ball of tears and tissues. Gently, he settled down next to her, pecking her shoulder lightly as he did so.

“Reggie?” Feather murmured, rubbing a sleeve across her nose. “What’ve you got there?”

The little owl hooted approvingly as she took the parcel from him. Her eyes filled with tears again as she recognized the writing that covered the top.

_Happy birthday, Feather! We miss you and send all our love. – Queenie, Jacob, Tina, & Newt_


End file.
